Mindful Reality, helping mental stress

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Jill introduces this work in her two books "Body Over Mind: a mindful reality check" and "The Myth of Doing: managing guilt, shame, anxiety, regret and self-judgment" (see Book section for more information).

Contact: spiewakeng@yahoo.com or (207) 212-5423

Visit Jill's BLOG for articles and more on Mindful Reality


Developed by Jill Eng, this practice combats anxiety, depression and stressful thoughts that stem from worry, self-blame and the belief that we must do something to fix our lives.  Grounded in what Jill calls our “physical reality,” we learn to counter inner judgment and "should" thoughts with an awareness that we must always be doing whatever we are doing.  Negative thoughts that make us feel like we are not living our lives correctly are put up against the knowledge that we can each only do the things we are doing in each moment, as anything else is physically impossible.  Acceptance and inner validation are the results.

This work is educational, blending principles from the Alexander Technique with eastern and other modern-day practices.  Sessions are one hour long, talk-based and emotionally therapeutic in nature.  (Body awareness is offered if suitable to the needs of the student.)  This work is based in mindfulness, reality and this original technique that Jill has designed.  One hour sessions are $40.00; no insurance accepted.


Life in Real Time: What We are Doing

Mindful Reality helps with inner validation by showing us that in each moment we are doing all we can do.  It helps us feel OK about how we spend our time.  It addresses the constant nagging that tells us we don’t do things right, or that we don’t do enough; we are affirmed of the falsity of these beliefs through the recognition of our relationship to time as experienced in our physical actions all day long.

We are doing something every second of the day.  In these moments what we are doing is truly the only thing physically possible, once it is happening.  So even if we feel like we can or want to improve the ways in which we do things, or how we spend our time, we can only if we do.  In each consecutive moment, if we aren’t doing what we wish, it’s still the only thing physically possible for that time.  Our minds try to talk us out of this reality.

Mindful Reality is about acknowledging reality over thought; how things actually go is absolute and therefore a stronger truth than how we think things should go.  From this perspective we see that action trumps thought.  It does not matter how each person thinks they get to where they are.  When we view our current activity (which we can do by looking down at our body) what we find is unchangeable (once it is happening), despite how disappointing it may be, because our physical activity is liquid and always changing with the movement of time.

This work helps with self-judgment and the inner voice that tells us we are not managing our lives correctly.  It is specifically based on the clarification and understanding that what we are doing is actually what our body is doing, because our “doings” are just our physical actions in space and time.  Our common day thoughts make us feel like doing is something that somehow occurs outside of our body, or only with our thoughts, when in fact it is always just us moving in real time through our physical activities. 

This awareness is a hard look at our life in real time.  Our body is continually transforming from one activity into another as we never disappear, even if we feel like we skip in and out of our day, or our awareness.  We are truly always present in space and time despite how we feel.

It may be frustrating to acknowledge that we cannot do the things we wish we were doing, if we are not.  But this knowledge relieves us of the pressure that we could act differently, or the guilt that we could have acted differently, and tells us that we are not a failure and that we are always doing exactly what we should be doing.  We can never do anything more or other than what our body does, no matter how hard our thoughts try to convince us otherwise.